The art of throwing a punch

I think I am one of the least aggressive persons I know. I doubt I could count in one hand any scuffles I have had, that are still in memory. In terms of real life battle experience, I still very much am a novice, and I have no hopes of improving in that regard. At times, I just find myself in frustration because I can never truly find it within me, to erupt at poor service delivery at  a restaurant, or even complaining with unction for a just cause. It leads me to question up to what extent, can I remain mild mannered without it being unhealthy. It is necessary to throw a punch in order to preserve peace and progress. I know that there comes a time, where there is no other way to resolve a matter, other than having  a confrontation of sorts.

I get so nervous to confront people about stuff. I usually try to have a mental three strike system, but that does nktwork well because  I am a very lenient umpire, three strikes often increases to four or five or six, all due to the fact that ,perhaps the person might see the error of their ways for themselves, and be redeemed. There's some mental brazening one has to go through to get to that place of being able to clash with whatever or whomever is in opposition. For me, I take far too long to get myself into that space of getting ready to tussle. The procedure of striking at the right time is quite delicate, often times speaking too soon without having the full story leads to big misunderstandings , and speaking too late may place you in a situation of a severely escalated scenario. Either way not knowing when to intervene causes chaos.

It's not easy figuring out what one is supposed to do, on one hand I can not simply stand by and wait as things get worse, on the other hand acting rashly can do more harm than good. The pressure really is on when you're a man having a family or any other dependants whom you will have to protect. On many occasions, the offence of a matter does not fall on you, it may fall on those around you and, you may find yourself having to stand up on behalf of those around you. Personally, I find it slightly easier to be acting out in the stead of another person. Perhaps it is because I can see and assess the situation without any of my own timidness affecting me. It really is odd that I can stand for others much more easily than for my own. 

Growing up, I never had what can be defined as a rebellious phase. As much as that was something pleasant for my parents, it means I have never really gotten exposure to squaring up against the system. I fear that I am far too benign  to protest, and it may result in a lot of things going wrong that could be avoided simply by taking action. The biggest hurdle to overcome is passivity, because if nothing is said, then the same problem could affect other people in the future. The way I see it, the best way to confront and have conflict with people is actually a scripture from the book of Proverbs, 

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1 ESV

I find this to be very useful, in the times that I do have to refute someone, I try as much as I can to be as objective as possible and as gentle as I can be. It takes some self control to be able to gently dispute, so if I can not speak in a calm manner, I probably would not want to engage myself.

Keeping things in perspective is very essential in these matters. We can very easily get carried away in the heat of the moment, and end up drifting away from constructive discourse, to unproductive bickering. The target should be the problem and not the person, and at times it is a bit tricky to divorce the two, because it can be quite sensitive on both ends of the conversation to tell apart when there is assassination of character.  So, punch the problem not the person, a large fear is appearing as being overbearing, but hey if you're on a sinking ship throwing people off the deck could be a means to save lives, although it may be seemingly unpleasant it is necessary. This is still a matter I struggle with very frequently, how do you handle situations of this nature where confrontation is nearly unavoidable ?