Never Alone

I once came across something that said, loneliness is as bad for your health, as smoking cigarettes. It had me thinking about lonely smokers, and the state of their welfare. Living in times where it's so easy to connect thanks to the various platforms online and advancements in transportation, it may seem that as the human race connecting has never been as easy as it is now, more than ever before.  Morbidly, reality shows a different picture with the concept of community ever so fractured, and the expanse between persons increasing rapidly. 

Billions of people , yet still so many of us are isolated silos, going through the motions of life. Some may blame this on capitalism, and how working forty plus hours a week leaves barely much room for a stable social life. Another factor could be the times we live in where people are not as rooted in their habitations as before. The moment one turns eighteen thoughts of moving out and spreading your wings become common occurrence. It is the trend now, to leave the homestead, the first form of community we know in our lives as young adults, at times this separation feels premature as it often isolates one from family, at a time where a lot of changes are occurring in one's life. 

You may find that nowadays, having more close friends than you can count with bond hands, is considerably quite the feat. To define the proximity of a close friend, I mean people that you have intentional social interaction with about thrice a week. The thing that happened, where we could not go  outside, definitely took a toll on a lot of relationships, and even now we are yet to see the fullness of the ramifications, of such an extended time of human isolation in some cases. To maintain a close friendship is a lot of work, time and dedication and effort. Put that on top of a nine to five job, and you find yourself spread a little thin. 

No man is an island, but I tend to find myself lost at sea. A sea of thoughts and emotions, I tend to get stuck in my mind more often than I realise. My feelings become my occupation, sending me into a state of mental exile. The writer of the book of Proverbs puts it in this way,  

When you are sad, no one else feels the pain; and when you are happy, no one else can really feel the joy.

Proverbs 14:10 ERV

It's bittersweet to think about we can not truly share emotions, it's not like an omelet, where I could offer you a piece to show you, how overly salted it tastes. When a person is beaming, you can only get an image of the person's feelings based on their facial expressions and not what lies beneath the surface. The extent to which a  person feels a feeling is not something we can accurately gauge. 

This dissonance creates a distance, it feels like you are the only one on the face of the planet going through what you are feeling. That is not the whole picture though, because it's not the whole truth, you are the only one who can tell the depths of the emotion you are feeling, however, you are not out of reach of others completely. Just because others can not precisely relate to what's going on in your head or heart, it does not mean you're so far out of the jurisdiction of understanding each other and being understood.

A problem shared is a problem halved, as much of a cliché as it  may be, communicating how we feel does a world of a difference. As a friend who is more of a listener, it confounds me how much relief my companions find in sharing their woes and wins with me. I do not always have the right words to say to them, well actually, I find myself not knowing what to say at all to them at times. All I can do is be there for them and make them food, because for some reason a good meal makes things a bit more bearable. I pray for all of you who reading this, to know that you are not alone, in your struggles. If anything at all, as you are reading this, know that in the very least, I am here to hear you out and pray for you. I love you all platonically.