Under pressure

 My mother always says that I am a people person, which I struggle with agreeing with because of how reserved I can be at times. Mothers are not usually wrong when it comes to their children, I can attest to this because I genuinely enjoy the company of companions and building rapport with acquaintances. So my life has not been one of me just being in a vacuum, and not having external forces being exerted on me. Some of these forces have been for good and some for evil if I can epically word it in that manner. 

The thing about forces is that they bring change. You could be holding a sponge in your hand and squeeze the sponge and it'll deform accordingly. Everyday of my life especially where I am at the moment in time, I have observed that the only constant is change. This change comes from internal influences as well as external ones. I remember coming across something that said that we are made up of our five closest companions. Firstly, I was thinking how does one have that many close companions, there after I thought that perhaps it's time to take stock of my friendships. 

If you look closely there are traces of yourself in those who are around you. What happens when you notice changes in the people around you? When you do not see the same changes happening with you, it may lead you to wonder why. When those who are so similar to you start to move in a different direction, how do you acclimate to the growing distance between you? How do you know whether or not to chase them on the trail that they are headed on? 

If those that reflect me are changing and I am seemingly in the same place, it begs me to question if there is a fault of sorts. This  starts to cook up a fear of missing out within me. This fear that can make me think that I'm not where I should be at this stage in life simply because others are advancing. It's a fear that even our conversations change and I become obsolete, yet once before we used to go through the same things. It feels like you are at  platform, waiting for a train and everyone else is boarding, and you are stuck there looking at your watch, and questioning if things are going according to schedule.

With all the variability of life, it's not so simple to try to be formulaic about how much farther along we should all be, and how we should be progressing. Does not time and chance happen to us all? When we see others move further ahead, it's tempting to think that the race is to the swift. I'm trying to learn that to each it happens in their own season, it's great to draw inspiration from the success of others ,but one has to watchful of insecurities that may cast doubt on your own efforts. Perhaps this happens when our sense of direction is like that of migratory birds, that follow the flock and solely look to other birds to know whether they are on the right path or not. 

We fear alienation, that by not being the same as our peers we become abnormal. I think it's okay to be in different phases, even if you're watching your friend achieve that which you are aiming for before you. Cheer them on, albeit, there's a bitter taste in your mouth as you do so. Let that bitter taste be fuel to keep you going, it's passion that makes you feel that bitterness. A passionate life is one that is flavorful, the emotions are only natural, but don't let comparison kill your contentment. 

So focus on your own plate, you don't have to care so much about how others are eating more than how you should be enjoying your own meal. Trust the process and relax, you'll find it decompressing when you are not constantly measuring yourself up against what you see on your friend's social media.