Scarcity

The first lesson I learnt in my IGCSE economics class, was that there are unlimited wants and limited resources. That was my formal introuction to the concept of scarcity. A concept that there is not always going to be enough to go around, no matter how much you wanted to spread things. It's one of the means through which we make decisions, as to how we spend the resources we have. Whether it's food, time, money or effort we try to use it in such a way that it does not go to waste.

I grew up in a state of perpetual economic chaos. I did not have to ponder much on what it means to lack. Everything was rationed, water, electricity, money and even food at a point. It instilled a sense of gratitude, for what people would think of as the bare minimum needed for living. I remember when I was eight having to wait for hours, which seemed like a lifetime at that age, to be able to get to buy a rationed bag of flour. Years later as a teen after getting my drivers' license, I would be sometimes designated to wait in line for fuel. This could easily take up to half a day of waiting.

I just want to take this as an opportunity to clarify a running joke about my country. I have no recollection, whatsoever, of people pushing wheelbarrows worth of money, to buy basic commodities. That is in fact, a caricature from the 1920s, about Germany's economy post WWI. Our reserve bank was way too shrewd to let that happen. In order to curb that we all became billionaires and trillionaires. We carried a wheelbarow's worth of money within our wallets instead.

This was the means through which I learnt how money and resources work. Wastefulness was a great taboo, and having plenty was a divine boon. Looking into the meager amount of life I have spent as an adult. I have had to check myself, to see if this scarcity mindset infiltrated into other areas of my life. Am I holding onto friendships too tightly because I am afraid that I may not be able to make new ones? Am I constantly calculating how much a favour costs, because there is no free lunch? Have I subconciously put a price tag on my devotion, because I associate providence with goodwill?

Tackling this was prickly, I had to confront the pride and fear, that motivated this thinking. Pride in the sense that, I trusted in my own ability to labour and provide for myself. Fear in that, I could not trust that God could provide for me, just as He does for the flowers and birds. The temptation is very real for me, to hold on too tightly because the margins are starting to run thin. Or to have overconfidence and think that, all that I have is as a result of my own sweat and effort.

I find myself humbly amused, when I finish saying grace before a meal. Although yes, the meal was something I prepared myself, the money to buy the ingredients is from my earnings. I thank God for providing the food set before me. Ultimately He is the one who provided the means for me to earn, He provided me the peace and stability to be able to sit and eat freely. When I weigh the amount that I have done, and all that God has done in contribution to me having rice and chicken. It really does put me to shame, all of the mingy thinking that I have.

Now when I do make petitions, I have to pivot in the way I ask. An acknowledgement has to be made that Jesus is the source of all that is good. When one prays they must keep in mind, that their ultmate need, which is salvation has already been taken care of. That then postures one, to pray from a point of abundance. Since the greatest bill was already paid for, I can humbly rest, and trust that all I need is taken care of.