While I've been away

 Today marks the anniversary of the last time I physically saw my mother. Some of the last words she said to me before I went through the boarding pass, were to not look back. I would like to beg for her pardoning because I am about to get retrospective now. A lot has changed since I last saw her, on a global scale as well as a personal one. 

Leaving my mother that summer evening, was my departure from the nest going into the big wide world full of the unknown. I never felt that I was quite ready to step outside of what I knew to be home. I think my bravery was partially because others my age were going through the same transition. I guess I was not immune to peer pressure. More than that, I just had the conviction in me that it I was time that I go. 

Could it have been youthful naivety, because I had this faith that everything would fall into place, even though I was stepping out of my comfort zone. Falling is perhaps a loose way of describing it. Rather I was certain that my steps would be ordered. Looking back I can say there have been plenty of steps that the Lord lead me in that I have taken. If I were to contemplate it more I might just write a psalm. 

Leaving a culture that nurtured m,e and going into another part of the world. I got exposure by the buckets, to different cultures and belief systems. I thoroughly enjoy observing human behaviour and this immersion was a delight, although it did get overwhelming at times. I got to have the privilege of asking questions I never got to before, as well as reflecting on those questions myself. Culture does really play the role of an intangible tool in shaping the way we live. 

I am unable to measure the amount of gratitude for all the companions I have made over the past few years. I can say the extent to which the relationships I have built is that of having surrogate siblings. The kindness I have received from all my friends is a debt I can never repay, a treasure that is stored in my heart. Just as there is a time for gathering and scattering, I have had to say my goodbyes to friends. Some going to different lands and even some leaving this plane of existence.

Thanks to the advent of the internet, I am in several long distance relationships with friends and family. No one quite prepares you for missing out on milestones that happen in the lives of those you love, when you are far from them.  Oddly when I am on the phone it feels as though they are right with me until the call ends. It's quite the phenom how my temperance can be affected by affairs that are thousands of kilometres from me. 

Paraphrasing Peter Parker's uncle,'' With great responsibility comes great power''. Living somewhat independently and getting over the initial imposter syndrome. I realised that there is a cause and effect to the decisions I make. This means I have had to be intentional in looking after myself. A string of poor decisions at this point in life can lead to incarceration. I have found the best way to lead my life is in submission to the authority of Christ. 

This is but a brief reflection. There are so many tales and lessons, many answered prayers and ways in which I have grown. I am not sure I would have been able to picture all of  the experiences I have lived through, the connections I made, the tears I could not shed, and the joys I have discovered.