So Cringe

If you've been using social media for at least five years now, do you still remember your earlier photos and posts. I can think of a time when I was sixteen years old, and everyone was into filters and using augmented reality. Each time I look back on those photos at times, I almost gag at what was once so trendy online amongst my peers. It makes me want to wince, when I think about the faces I'd make in photos back then. What makes me so embarrassed by what seemed so cool?

Often, I can get triggered to cringe at very unexpected moments. I could be washing dishes, or commuting home, then all of a sudden, I remember something I did whilst I was in primary school. It makes me wonder if there are any studies about why we hold on to embarrassing memories so well. The fact that I can remember an incident from 2015 so vividly, yet I can't remember what I had for lunch last Friday, bothers me in a way that words can not truly communicate. 

There are instances, where the cringing is not self triggered. If you have ever seen someone doing  something shameful. Instinctively, you find yourself cringing as a result of secondhand embrassment. It's as if we have a hive-mind, when it comes to embarrassment, the more you know the person the deeper the feeling of embarrassment is. 

Cringing is a complex bundle of emotions, it's a unique pain, that sometimes feels worse than death, although one has never died before. The nature of the experience, is similar to shock treatment. The response we have towards things that cause us to cringe, is usually one of avoidance at all costs. Which maybe is why, when a memory, that causes one to cringe, plays in our heads it feels so arduous, because the pain is way too much to bear. 

This feeling is a double edged sword, because of the fear of being cringeworthy, one can often shy away from wondering out of their comfort zone. If you do not take the risk to look foolish in front of others, you may not be able to let your convictions turn into action, and that means potential innovation dies as a result of being too timid. Perhaps that's why those at the cutting edge of progress, seem always to be a hair's width away from lunacy. 

A lack of cringing, however, is a cause for concern. Imagine never having any embarrassing memories about yourself. It could point to a lack of self awareness, can you really say you know yourself, if there aren't parts of yourself that you wish you could scrub off. Cringing at yourself is also a sign of growth, or at least change in a way. Maturing sometimes translates into growing past foolish fads, and realising that each season of life requires an adaptation of one's mannerisms. 

Don't let the fear of being cringy stop you from doing something great, because even if it ends up in failure, cringing over a misstep is better than regretting not having taken a step at all. At the same time, the awareness of the cringiness of the next course of action you may take, may save you from reliving an embarrassing moment for what could be the rest of your existence. These two thoughts frequently have me at odds with myself. I usually find myself following the former piece of advice than the later, cringy stories tend to make for good conversation fodder.