Intentions and expectations

 Synergy in my relationships is such a treat. Getting to the point of understanding each other and reaching resonance, is blissful. There's something almost indescribable about functioning as a unit in accord. It's as when Paul the apostle describes the church, being a singular body made up of different functioning parts, to serve the same purpose. This is a thing of beauty, however, it does not happen very easily.

It takes plenty of communication to get there. To be on the same page means that all the parties involved must be on the same chapter and section of the book. This information has to be shared clearly and concisely. The way I have it figured out is that there are two parts to establishing being in tandem. Intentions and expectations have to be clearly understood and communicated. 

Intentions  help to assess and identify what is being offered in the agreement . This aids in figuring out what contributions a person is willing to make. Expectations, for demarcating what it is you are seeking other parties to bring. This mirrors intentions as does demand mirror supply. One party supplies their intentions and  the other party demands expectations.

Establishing what each person is willing to give and what they desire, leads to understanding the structure and dynamics of the collusion. Boundaries can be clearly set and extrapolations for the future can easily be made as well. It definitely is not easy to grow in a relationship where you do not know where you stand. Not knowing where your footing is can hinder how you take the next step.  You can question whether you are doing too much, or too little or whether you are doing the right thing at all. 

A dear friend of mine has this mantra at times, ''Know your place in people's lives''. It's quite true that we need to have knowledge of how much involvement we can have in people's. I came across a research paper that said only half of the friendships we think we have are reciprocal. We tend to make assumptions about people's intentions very often. This can leave us distraught as we have made these expectations that they have no obligation of meeting. This is just one of the many detriments of not communicating intentions and expectations. 

Even as I write this, I am prompted to reflect on my own relationships. It does take a bit of humility and a vulnerability that makes me a little uncomfortable, to seek out where I stand with people. I guess maybe it's the fear of getting an answer you might not like. It's a bit scary to find out that you are not your best friend's best friend. At the end of the day it is better to live with the reality of having expressed your intentions, and what you can expect ,than being shrouded in the mystery of  assumptions and unanswered questions.