The weight of demand

The first means of communication I learnt was crying as a baby. It's even expected for one to cry as soon as they leave their mother's womb. Roughly translated, an adage in my own language says, the baby that doesn't cry dies on its mother's back. Meaning that if one doesn't express their grievances, then they shouldn't expect change to happen. Very early on in our lives a feedback loop is created, where we cry and we get something after. 

In one of my favourite sermons by Frederick W. Robertson, he puts across the fact that, seeing something, desiring it and wanting to have it, is a sign of spiritual immaturity. Just think of how whiny toddlers can be for their favourite snacks. Then it humbles me, to think of how whiny I can be in my thoughts prayers, when things aren't going my way. It makes me wonder why wanting stuff riles me up so much. 

Perhaps there's a sense of wanting to belong, that drives me to want what my peers have, so that I can be assured I fit in. Then again,it could be that I've often come to believe that, when I obtain the object of my desire, I'll be that much more happier and accomplished. Societal pressures could be a factor too, not having a solid answer, when your aunt who is not really your aunt, asks about what direction your life is headed, can be frustrating. Not being put together the way we want, or not having what we want is vexing.

This is when a caution sign should start flashing. A warning is needed, to prevent one from falling into the trap of coveting. With such a gross culture of comparison, due to social media. Covetousness goes undetected quite easily. Wanting things because others have it, creeps into desire that seems well intended at first. Until it twists and churns its way into discontentment. Perhaps a means to remedy this, is a risk assessment practice called the five whys. Whereby you can question why you want something, five times over in order to reveal the real reason you want something.

Ironically, I've slowly come to appreciate not having everything I've ever wanted. The disparity between the real and the ideal, I often picture. Leaves a gap where I get to grow and adapt. I'm hindsight I realise that, I end up with everything I need, and not exactly everything I want. Then when I'm fortunate to get what I want, it's not exactly when I want. It's a slow process coming to terms with this fact. 

When I do further investigate my own desires. I find even the seemingly purest of them, is alloyed and perverse. As Jeremiah states that the heart is the most wicked of all. Surely getting everything I ever wanted when I wanted it, would lead to catastrophe. It's not easy to admit, but I would be better off lacking than having every misplaced desire granted.